Friday, July 20, 2012

Somebody to love

What makes it worthwhile to love someone? When I look around at people in love all i see is pain or blindness. Everyone is always crying and punching walls. When they're not crying or punching walls, they willingly turn a blind eye on everything that's wrong. I long for that short period at the beginning when everything is sparkling new and nothing is ever wrong and no one is broken or has any baggage. It never lasts long enough, and once it's over what makes people stay?

I could never last long in a relationship once the honeymoon period was over. I'm not sure if that's because I'm a bad person, because I wasn't willing to work at the relationship. Or is it because I wasn't truly in love. Looking back at what my relationships were I can't tell if I left because the novelty wore off, because I could tell it wasn't right for me, because I was too afraid, or why else. But no one fought for me, so it doesn't really matter anyways does it. My last boyfriend said that he loved me, that he wouldn't get over me, that he would wait for me until I was ready to date again. Then he found someone else and didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face, I thought I meant more to him than that. Before him I had a boyfriend who told me that he was terrified that I would leave him, and he slept with half the school within a year of our break up. So what makes it worthwhile to hold on to someone, even after they're gone? How long until you can give up on them?

How long until you give up on yourself?

1 comment:

  1. dear, its not that you are bad , its simply because it was not meant to be ..
    your prince charming must be out somewhere searching for you :)
    stay happy keep loving :)
    much love,